Wish I was in thrid grade

I was thinking about in the Odyssey and what a crazy tale it is. Of course it was written in ancient times which does much to explain its content. Odysseus kills all those assholes trying to court his wife after hes gone. Granted I would be pretty depressed too if some fuckers were trying to bang my wife but the dude's been gone for ten years. And indeed I would probably assume that he was either dead or fallen off the map during that span. Still to stay faithful for that long is also a tall order in my book. I need an endless bottle of bourbon which will continue to replenish itself after its gone. I was also reading that about alot of the grimm fairy tales. That they were watered down in their most recent incarnation in popular culture. That they were in fact far more grim no pun intended then one would think. More filled with images of violence and cruelty then would be conceived. I really don't want to get fired and I feel reluctant to quite somehow. At least in lieu of another job. Its weird posting all this shit on a forum where most probably won't know what the fuck i'm talking about but its a start. It helps to have somewhere to broadcast these thoughts to someone who might read it. Also need an endless bag of weed. One that would continue to replenish itself long after it was gone. I'm not sure really what the fuck is wrong with me. A horrible insatiable appeitite for destruction that I cannot seem to fill. Why can't I be addicted to running? or hang gliding? or something even vaguely contructive. I feel the need to do something extreme, some kind of abrupt decesion that would be wholly out of character for me. I was talking to my friend De'arro at work about working next to the girl that broke up with me and we replied 'why don't you just bag someone else'. Meaning get another girlfriend or a girl to talk to. He made it sound as easy as picking up a new pair or trousers. Maybe it is for some but i've never really felt that way. Of course its not entirely impossible its just hard when your still thinking about the one before. To just mindlessly move from one to the other that is the problem. I've talked to a few people and they all say the same thing find someone else, get over it somehow, build yourself up. I can understand the sentiment but its difficult when I was never that high up to begin with. Small setbacks like this tend to really put me back alot. If only it could just be nighttime forever and the sun would never rise. Nostalgia is a strange beast. We all yearn for something that cannot be had and we glamourize it as something it really never was. You hear sometimes people talking about the 'good ole days' before there was alot of profanity on tv an such. The 'greatest generation.' Still during those times of the 1940's and 1950's were not all good for everyone. Black people were being lynched all the time and had little civil rights. Two superpowers were at each others throats each one poised to completly annhilate the other. Still looked at in hindsight it all seems like an episode of I love lucy or leave it to beaver or another one of the contemporary programs of the time.