I've had the time of my life

For me the gym is like the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca. I feel obligated to go if I have the oppurtunity and the means. Mainly if I have the day off or I can wake up before I have to go work and have enough to to go. Although I dont always abide by this standard I like to think of myself as somewhat consistant. As I went to day although I am now proceeding to get entirely fucked up for not apparent reason at least I have gone. I have at least done something at least remotely productive at some point. Sometimes I think everything with me would go better if there was someone else making all the important decesions. I dont know what the fuck im doing or am supposed to do and how to do it and thinking about it bewilders me even more. Who the fuck knows? But one thing I know is that I could in theory be doing a whole hell of a lot more then I am right now. FUck.

Unleash your anger, only your hatred can destroy me

The darkness is a powerful force. It can pull you in and have a hold on you for extended amounts of time. It can seem to envelop your very existence and strip away the redeeming qualities of everything around. I was just thining about how I have let this happen to much. To focus too much on negative things in general and thing I hate rather then things I enjoy. It can become a difficult habit to break. Harboring deep resentments and deep grudges over very real and perceived slights can take its toll on a person. To warp their very nature into a nasty caricature of who they really are. Still its important to take stock about what really matters. What is pertinant, how we could better ourselves in and in turn better others.

Rock 'n roll can never die

Never consuming burritos from seven elveven ever again. A cursed and wretched form of cuisine they truly are. Among the most dispeputable 'foods' ever created. Woke up late again unable to accomplish anything except making the horrible trek to work. Which isn't even that bad in and of itself it just sucks when its the only thing i've been able to get done in a day. Got bad heartburn from that shit and now my throats all fucked up. Should file a lawsuit against those fools. Damn. I want to be one of those people who sees the silver lining in everything who maintains a strong positive outlook upon life but I don't know if I can. Don't feel like im a total cynic I would like to believe there is good in people and the world but its hard to believe it sometimes.

We got to get over the hump

Fuck. It is now almost nine in the morning and I have been going since sometime around four thirty yesterday afternoon. There is a host of things I must do today and I feel wholly unprepared for any of it. Well not really a host but really like two things I need to do. Still i am amazed I have been going this long usually the steam would have long since wore out. Awkward interactions late in the night. Strange how female friends are such a strange beast. Probably shouldent have hooked up with her in the first place didnt realize shit would get so weird. The weird weather has subsided somewhat. Don't want to absolutely alienate anyone and everyone with whom I know enjoy cordial relations. Thats what is interesting about human relations. I could right now easily alienate and completly freak out pretty much everyone i know yet it seems the far more difficult task of cultivating good favor and friendship amongest a large amount of people. Perhaps it is easy to be an asshole all the time. Especially if you are not particularly aware of it.

Money aint for nothin chicks for free

Horrible godforsaken heat and humidity in the middle of november. The signs of a coming apocolypse? It would seem so to this observer. But perhaps I am exaggerating just slightly. In any event it sure it creeping me the fuck out. A lazy saturday alone in my god damn room with little to ouccupy my time except thoughts of how fucked up it all is outside. If I wanted sixty degree weather in November I would live in Miami by golly. Speaking of states which to me seem to have no merit and that I have no desire to ever set foot in I would say Florida probably ranks among the top. I think part of the beauty of New England is its diversity of weather that it is constantly changing. From horrible intense humidity in the depths of summer to intense cold in the middle of febuary you never really know what its going to be like.

Lets just say we'd like to avoid any imperial entanglements

Horrible is a great adjective. It is one I seem to use with great frequency. Mainly because I can so many things off the top of my head that are horrible. NASCAR racing, horrible. NASCAR fans, even more horrible. Professional wrestling, so fucking horrible. By god I could go on for hours and hours. Thats another thing. At my work theres this dude who works at night who come in early and always puts on professional wrestleing. Oh my godddd. Really? were actually going to watch this fucking shit? Truly I would almost, almost, rather have nascar on and I fucking despise, abhor and loath that 'sport' with every facet of my being. I think that would probably be my personal hell, nothing to watch on TV but NASCAR and wrestling. I can already tell right now I am most likely going to be up into the obscene hours of the night pontificating various things. Oh well.

Whats that shit yall nigga smokin? Tical

Oh man. I wish I had a host of violent thugs I could dispatch upon all those who I perceive have done me injustice. Long horrible day with little redeeming qualities but such is the order of the day recently. The path to righteousness is clear yet I choose to not trod upon it. Mangled my toe in a vicious manner in a rage earlier in the day. Still I kind of wonder if the insult to me truly merited putting myself in such an extreme pain. The thing has been done with for several months now but I still refuse to accept reality and try to talk to her anyway and it still sucks. Fuck.

Tell me 'friend' when did Saruman the wise abandon reason for madness?

So I have been away for the past week in Merry old England the country of some of my ancestors. Times have been good sceanary nice and altogeather the experience a good one. Still I must return to the horrible grind next week and I find myself pondering the various things and issues I feel that need some resolving. All and all though it has been good to get away from all the horribleness of it. Pregnant women are wholly unattrative in my veiw. I know that is entirely out of context of what I am writing about but somehow I feel it worth mentioning. I find them entirely repulsive something that should not be seen in the open public. But it is all in the same vein I have a vitriol loathing and general distaste for humanity in general. But in a good way. I think I find myself thinking more about all the bullshit because I know my return is soon and all the issues confronting me before will still be there. I wonder how people put so much faith in the presidency in the office of one man to solve all the complex issues of a nation when governing ones own personal life seems quite a hurdle in and of itself. There is indeed only so much one person can do and the systems is already set up in a certain way.