One man show

I'm a one man show no one else on my team/ no copilot in the next seat no one else on the scene/ staring deep in the dark isolated from the rest/ got no one holding me up through this grand long contest/ I detest so many things and the evils they bring/ sad souls looking down upon this world that we inhabit/ follies coming all around both comical and tragic/ trying hard hoping somehow to break the bad habits/ without the aid of witchcraft or black magic/ to just have it and let loose for a few/ feeling like an island with a one man crew

You best watch yourself were wanted men I have the death sentence on tweleve systems!

I just finished reading the book Murder Machine by Gary Capeci and Gene Mustain. It chronicles the rise and fall of the crew of Roy DeMeo a capo in the Gambino Crime family. The Roy Demeo Crew was believed to have been responisable for over 100 murders in the New York area. The crews method of dispatchment was quick and effective. After shooting the victim in the head another member of the crew would stab the victim in the heart the stop the blood flow. After this they would usually wait for a while for the blood to congeal before they proceeded. On one ouccasion they ordered out for pizza and hot dogs while they waited. After the blood had congealed they would dismember the body peice by peice and package it in plastic bags and drop it in a nearby dump. This book read really well for me and had a good narrative which kept me reading. Another thing I found interesting was how some of Roy Demeo's fellow colleagues became disgusted with his brutal methods of dispatchment. After a member of Roy's crew Chris Rosenberg ends up making a deal with some Cubans from Florida for Cocaine and bring them up to New York to make the deal. Instead of giving them the money Chris ends up murdering all of the Cuban representatives and taking the cocaine. As a result of Chris's indisrection the Cuban who has contacts in the Columbian drug cartel sends up some muscle to New York to sort out the situation. Roy Demeo's handler in the Gambino Family Nino Gaggi sends his nephew Dominick Montiglio to sort things out with the Cuban's. As a result of his paranoia Roy ends up killing a young vacuum cleaner salesman who was sitting outside his house making his rounds. In the end he winds up getting killed because the Gambino heirarchy beleives he would testify against him, overall a great read.

I don't look at you that way

Is there come kind of curse that I have developed where somehow all the girls im attracted to see me as only a platonic friend? It seems to be so. I can remember already three oucassions where this has happened in my experience one of them very recently. I was told I was 'a good guy to smoke with and share words of wisdom.' Maybe I should just start being a fuckin asshole to everyone and no one will see me as a fucking friend. It really fuckin blows though I feel like im never taken serioulsy in that way. That i'm thought of as some kind of celibate asexual freak by the opposite sex. What the fuck? It really doesn't make any sense and then you always see these fuckin jackoff assholes getting really hot girls. Godamnit.

Nobody asked you to come in ten minutes early

Redundancy, complete and utter redundancy. The same thing ouccurring in the exact cycle day in day out with no change or alteration in the pattern. A maze whose turns and corners lead in the same path to the exact same place where you strated every single time. It all feels that way and yet somehow I feel detatched from it all as it holds no interest. Fuck. Drinking beer on another sunday again and I find myself feeling low and depressed. As Lenny said once in an episode of 'the simpsons,' 'nothing like a depressant to drive the blues away.' It is true it is strange to attempt to cure ones woes with something that only execerbates them. But still you start to feel good on some level, numb to what you would otherwise feel without it. It becomes like a companion to you, a friend which will always be by your side to cheer you up. To clean away the horrors of the day to make you oblivous to the world.

I flow like the blood on a murder scene

It is my firm belief that some individuals of certain persausions and temperments are simply in need of a good ass kicking. Maybe not always in a physical sense but in the sense of taking them down a few notches, of making them recognize that that are not all that they make themselves out to be. Mainly is bring them back into normal humanity, to make them act maybe even somewhat like a normal decent person. I find it quite staggering how it seems as if normal, decent people are in such a staggeringly short supply. Perhaps just instilling some basic regular humanity into some of these people to bring them back. Obviously not everyone and all people are ever going to entirely get along and cooperate with one another but simply getting people to stop being jackoffs to one another and acting somewhat normal would be a start.

I gave myself a good talking to

Why does everything have to be so complicated? More specifically why do things which would seem to be simple task's turn into overwrought complex affairs? Obtaining herb is a prime example. One its face one would think it was only a matter of finding someone with plant matter and a scale and having them weigh it out and sell it to you. However when the time comes you are sometimes met with delay and a long complicated explaination as to the cause of said delay. Then you are provided with a host of unneccesary information regarding the reasons for the delay. Meanwhile all you really desire is to know when the thing will really go down.

None is more contemptiable then those who defile the way of Bushido

I was reading the newspaper today in the op-ed section about a late term abortion doctor George Tiller who was murdered by an extreme anti-abortion activist. There was a peice from someone who obviously was more favored toward the pro-choice side and one from a group calling itself 'operation rescue.' Anyhow the pro-life group article said that their were legal means to call attention to abortions moral injustice and not the vigilantism employed by the killer. At the end it stated, 'Tillers homicide must be denounced, but so should the killing of voer 45 million innocent babies through abortion,' not exactly an endorsement of the murder but still a certain sympathy for the killers motives. I coulden't help but thinking maybe a service was being done not having an extra 45 million human beings on the planet. First of all we are massively overpopulated to begin with, secondly there are many extenuating circumstances such as where the baby had a fatal condition or deformities of their health was at risk. Or in circumstances such as rape, incest, or maybe the person is just not prepared to be a parent at the point in time. Is it not something of a disservice to society to have individuals not truly prepared to raise their child raising them and having the child become a murderer, rapist, etc; So in these people minds all babies should be brought to term regardless of circumstances and situations. And some of these really pro-life segment mainly the catholics are against any form of birth control whatsover which in turn leads of aids, stds, and so forth. Of course by calling themselves 'pro-life' they paint the other side as 'anti-life' or even 'pro-death' and who would want to be identified with something like that.