I don't look at you that way

Is there come kind of curse that I have developed where somehow all the girls im attracted to see me as only a platonic friend? It seems to be so. I can remember already three oucassions where this has happened in my experience one of them very recently. I was told I was 'a good guy to smoke with and share words of wisdom.' Maybe I should just start being a fuckin asshole to everyone and no one will see me as a fucking friend. It really fuckin blows though I feel like im never taken serioulsy in that way. That i'm thought of as some kind of celibate asexual freak by the opposite sex. What the fuck? It really doesn't make any sense and then you always see these fuckin jackoff assholes getting really hot girls. Godamnit.

Nobody asked you to come in ten minutes early

Redundancy, complete and utter redundancy. The same thing ouccurring in the exact cycle day in day out with no change or alteration in the pattern. A maze whose turns and corners lead in the same path to the exact same place where you strated every single time. It all feels that way and yet somehow I feel detatched from it all as it holds no interest. Fuck. Drinking beer on another sunday again and I find myself feeling low and depressed. As Lenny said once in an episode of 'the simpsons,' 'nothing like a depressant to drive the blues away.' It is true it is strange to attempt to cure ones woes with something that only execerbates them. But still you start to feel good on some level, numb to what you would otherwise feel without it. It becomes like a companion to you, a friend which will always be by your side to cheer you up. To clean away the horrors of the day to make you oblivous to the world.

I flow like the blood on a murder scene

It is my firm belief that some individuals of certain persausions and temperments are simply in need of a good ass kicking. Maybe not always in a physical sense but in the sense of taking them down a few notches, of making them recognize that that are not all that they make themselves out to be. Mainly is bring them back into normal humanity, to make them act maybe even somewhat like a normal decent person. I find it quite staggering how it seems as if normal, decent people are in such a staggeringly short supply. Perhaps just instilling some basic regular humanity into some of these people to bring them back. Obviously not everyone and all people are ever going to entirely get along and cooperate with one another but simply getting people to stop being jackoffs to one another and acting somewhat normal would be a start.

I gave myself a good talking to

Why does everything have to be so complicated? More specifically why do things which would seem to be simple task's turn into overwrought complex affairs? Obtaining herb is a prime example. One its face one would think it was only a matter of finding someone with plant matter and a scale and having them weigh it out and sell it to you. However when the time comes you are sometimes met with delay and a long complicated explaination as to the cause of said delay. Then you are provided with a host of unneccesary information regarding the reasons for the delay. Meanwhile all you really desire is to know when the thing will really go down.

None is more contemptiable then those who defile the way of Bushido

I was reading the newspaper today in the op-ed section about a late term abortion doctor George Tiller who was murdered by an extreme anti-abortion activist. There was a peice from someone who obviously was more favored toward the pro-choice side and one from a group calling itself 'operation rescue.' Anyhow the pro-life group article said that their were legal means to call attention to abortions moral injustice and not the vigilantism employed by the killer. At the end it stated, 'Tillers homicide must be denounced, but so should the killing of voer 45 million innocent babies through abortion,' not exactly an endorsement of the murder but still a certain sympathy for the killers motives. I coulden't help but thinking maybe a service was being done not having an extra 45 million human beings on the planet. First of all we are massively overpopulated to begin with, secondly there are many extenuating circumstances such as where the baby had a fatal condition or deformities of their health was at risk. Or in circumstances such as rape, incest, or maybe the person is just not prepared to be a parent at the point in time. Is it not something of a disservice to society to have individuals not truly prepared to raise their child raising them and having the child become a murderer, rapist, etc; So in these people minds all babies should be brought to term regardless of circumstances and situations. And some of these really pro-life segment mainly the catholics are against any form of birth control whatsover which in turn leads of aids, stds, and so forth. Of course by calling themselves 'pro-life' they paint the other side as 'anti-life' or even 'pro-death' and who would want to be identified with something like that.