'
`They got new camera's now,' Jim said as he took a sip of beers. They're going to be able to watch you know from headquarters, and if they look at the feed and see that you aren't doing any work they're going to call the restaurant and send you home.' 'Shit.' Sam said without much emphasis, it seemed unlikely unless something about the diner fundamentally changed. It had been over two weeks since the fire and there was still no sign that work on rebuilding the kitchen was being done, or when it would even begin. The first couple weeks had been ok, not having to work and getting paid, but after a little while it was dull. He missed the structure the orders of the day, he missed cooking. 'It's been hard the past few weeks,' Sam began, 'I sounds strange but I kind of miss the place.' 'Yup.' Jim nodded.

Jim had hardly exchanged more than a word or two to Sam when they were at work. Usually a, 'Hi,' or sometimes a non-verbal nod, but when he had run into him at the bar it seemed like you couldn't shut him up. They had talked for a while. Sam had run into Jim and Judy at the Afterworks shortly after he had shown up. He had gone down to the bar only after he had a 22 and a couple of shots, mainly on a whimsy. The sheer novelty of it, heading out into the world of people, had appealed to him. The bar, it was probably the single most inefficient and expensive method of getting drunk but he had gone. Mainly because he already had a 22 and a shot at home right before. It was the only way of making it work, making it worth extra expense.
 Sam had hardly been in there five minutes before Jim and Judy had shown up, and they had exchanged greetings. 'I was over there watching the place and it looked like they hadn't even started.' Sam remarked.
'Yeah,' Jim said. 'Gary said we should open up again by Thanksgiving, but who knows with him?' Sam laughed. 'It's ok, he doesn't really need to work, he's a millionaire!' Jim laughed. They regaled each other with Gary stories, how he had a house on Cape Cod worth 90 million dollars, all the tales. Jim had been buying him beers through it all, further fueling the conversation.

Sam was starting to feel the effects. 'I'm gonna head back.' He said. 'Watch out,' Judy warned. 'The Deerfield Police hang out waiting for people coming out.' Sam nodded and got out. He had the feeling that people were watching him. He always had that feeling, that when he walked into a room or a situation, he was the odd man out, somehow unwelcome. Estranged, the air was cold on his face. He looked at his
phone, she still had not called. They had a somewhat strange date a few days before and she hadn't called,
since. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't great either, Sam thought as he walked over to his van. In the back of
his mine he wondered openly if he didn't want her to call back, to respond. If it was something like a dog
chasing a squirrel or a rat and, on the rare instance in which he caught it, wasn't really sure what to do with it.
there was a lot of pressure involved, to perform, to be the man.

Amazing, Sam thought as he walked to his van and opened the door. This simple thing this
liquid, something so simple, can take us somewhere else. Can have such an impact, that we spend so much
just so that we can be taken, however briefly, to somewhere else. It was hard to tell if he had made a good
impression, a bad impression, or any impression at all for that matter. He never knew
how to gauge females, or if what he was doing was working. He had been 'out of work',
so to speak for quite some time, and had gotten used to it. Before, he hadn't thought of it
as something anyone could get used to but slowly he had adapted.


Being single was like being marooned on a deserted isle. The first step was denial,
'It's ok, a ship will come soon, help is on the way.' Then of course, after a few weeks,
when it becomes painfully obvious that help is not coming, and that, in fact, no is even
searching for you, comes a grudging acceptance. A certain frame of mind that no help
is actually forthcoming, but maybe actually, if you can stay together and get through it
you might realize that, your alright by yourself.

Sam as he saw it, was far beyond all of these stages. He was Colonel Kurtz at the end
of 'Apocolypse Now' being worshipped by thousands of natives. He pulled out a nip
from the dashboard and finished it, as he did he noticed a text come up on his phone.
He threw the nip in the center console and picked up his phone. 'Hey, wanna hang out?'
it read, a way out, to civilization, he thought.