Thursday, April 17, 2014

There's only so much a man can take!





‘My attorney has never been able to accept the notion-often espoused by former drug abusers and especially popular among those on probation-that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. And neither have I, for that matter.’-Hunter S. Thompson


  





She wasn’t pretty.  At least not in the traditional sense, but she wasn’t ugly either.  Sam never went for the ones who were the traditional standard of beauty, the Barbie doll, girly girl types, although to be fair, they never seemed to show much interest in him either.  Still she had a way about her, she was curious, friendly, and obviously looking for someone at the diner to hook up with.  Her name was Becca and Sam could tell she was at least five years younger than him.  She had started as a dishwasher and it was obvious that even if she had a boyfriend, she had long ago lost interest. ‘Where do you live?’ She had asked him and he told her. ‘Oh I know where that is, my cousin lives there we should hang out sometime.’ Sam had said something, maybe yes, certainly not no, he couldn’t remember, but he hadn’t pursued it really either.  It was always so hard to tell, to read the signals, to tell if she was genuinely interested in him or just being friendly. He had been wrong so many times before, that he felt it wasn’t worth the risk.






 He hadn’t pursued it further that night, and she was soon talking to Zach, the other cook. They had gone out to the shed for a long time, a half hour maybe, and by then Sam could see the writing on the wall. He could tell what was going to happen because he had seen it play out this way so many times before.  She was leaving at 10 Sam knew and he would be right behind her.  ‘Do you mind if I cut out a little early?’ Zach had asked.  He was on until 10 but the restaurant was empty at 9, ‘Sure.’ Sam had said. It was really the only response one could give to such a question. Sure technically he could say no, could insist that he stay, but then he would look like an asshole, and in truth he most likely wouldn’t have done much if he had stayed. He had already made his up mind.  Sam had looked up the back window 5 minutes after Zach said he was leaving, but he was already gone.  And now they’re going to go home, get drunk, and have massive amounts of sex, Sam had thought, and I’m going to work until midnight.










Sam drained the last of his tallboy and put it down on his desk.  It was his third and he could feel it hard.  He had a good portion of the first one on the way home, and gone through the 2nd and 3rd in quick succession.  He was on the internet, social networks, the TV on, thinking about women.  Why they acted the way they did, why he couldn’t seem to attract them.  I’m doing something wrong, Sam thought, something fundamentally wrong.  Of course no one would tell you, not the same thing anyway. Everyone seemed to have their own idea of what worked.  If you asked a guy what worked they usually said something like ‘Confidence,’ something along those lines, although it varied. If you asked a women what worked they would usually say ‘sense of humor,’ although there were many variations.  I should write a book about what I’m doing as a guideline of how not to get laid, Sam thought with a grin. He rose from his chair. I need another beer, Sam thought, and walked through the door of his room through the office to the kitchen.  







He rented a large room from an older woman with his own bathroom, but he still had to use her kitchen. The rent was decent enough, but for 600 a month he felt he should at least get his own shower, his room only had a toilet, and perhaps a kitchen.  Sam walked over to the fridge and pulled out a cold one, two more to go, he thought.  Ed had come in at around midnight exactly and they had exchanged brief pleasantries.  It looked like it was filling up as he left, Sam cracked open his beer,  I hope they’re doing ok in there.  It’s alright, he thought. I’ll still get blamed for it anyway.

Ed





‘Can I get that cup of French Onion?’ Lindsay asked through the window.  Ed was silent for a moment and then said, ‘It’s working.’ He had five long slips to deal with, and a single cup of French Onion was the least of his worries, still he walked over to the microwave and took it out. It had been sitting there for several minutes, but it looked like it was still hot, Ed placed it in the window.  Lindsay was nowhere to be seen, what the fuck? Ed thought.  Of course the moment I actually get it your gone, he thought. Ed looked down at the ticket he was working on, although the board had been empty when he had showed up at midnight, it had filled quickly in a short span.  He had greeted Sam who had responded in kind, and Ed had thought maybe he was staying, but when he looked out the back window several minutes later Sam had been gone.  Someone has to be coming in, Ed had thought, but when he had asked Gary who was going to help him cook all the order his only response had been, ‘Well you’re here.’






Ed’s first thought when he heard that glib retort had been to respond with a  string of obscenities, but he knew that wouldn’t solve anything. Still he did get a certain satisfaction thinking of Gary left alone, with all those orders.  Ed folded up an omelette and plated it, pouring on the homefries and placing the toast on the plate, he put it in the window. No one is coming, no one is going to help me, he thought.  The thought was grim, but in some ways it was liberating.  I’m the only cook here, she’s just going to have to adjust to my pace.







How can it take 45 minutes for a cheeseburger with fries and a cup of French Onion soup? Lindsay thought as she took the order from the window.  Midnight had come and gone and Lynn, her replacement, was nowhere to be found and now it was quarter to 1 and she was starting to have a bad feeling.  She had called Lynn several times already to no avail, maybe she’s still coming, she thought. Lynn had been late before, in fact she usually was, but this was extreme.  Lindsay walked over and place the French Onion and cheeseburger at the table, a lone man accompanied by a couple of younger women.  Prostitutes maybe, Lindsay had thought. Although she knew maybe she was wrong, maybe they just enjoyed the company of creepy middle aged men in the middle of the night.





Lynn came through the kitchen. ‘Hey Lindsay,’ She said cheerfully, ‘Sorry I’m late.’ Lindsay saw her as she walked to the window. Damnit, Lindsay thought, I could punch you if not for the fact that I want to hug you for being here. Instead she said, ‘Thank god you’re here.’

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