Thursday, April 24, 2014

The mass of men lead lives of hopeless desparation




Flames, beautiful circling flames, they were all Frank could see in his dreams, ebbing and flowing, building. They were engulfing the diner and he was outside to see it, a marvelous spectacle it was.  He wasn’t sure, in the dream, if he was personally there or if this was being shown to him. Possibly by some kind of ghost of Christmas past, or future, but it had all seemed so real. The flames engulfed everything, the floor, the kitchen, the stools, even the sign, which read simply ‘Diner.’ He saw them shoot up curl around the exterior and he remembered laughing hysterically. He wasn’t sure if he was laughing in the dream or in real life but it didn’t matter. The diner was empty at the time, and as Frank awoke he wondered what it meant.
  






He opened his eyes as the first rays of the sun hit them, and he found himself in his car, the bottle of bourbon almost half gone.  Can’t put the sauce away like I used to, he thought as he wearily opened his eyes. Why can’t I just stay asleep? Just remain away in that world.  He had more control in his dreams, in his dream’s he actually had money, and respect, and casual sex.  Frank could vaguely recall getting into his car after wandering down the dirt road that led to his home taking the bottle with him. He had told his wife some vague lie about taking about the garbage or going on a walk-it was hard to remember and had gone behind the trash cans outside the garage where he had stashed the bourbon.  Frank’s plan was, at first, to drink and maybe come up with a solution, a way out.  A way to unburden himself of everything of everyone.  Yet Frank found as he got deeper down into the bottle the idea’s he came up with got crazier and crazier. To fake his death and move down to Mexico, to hire a hit man to take out his boss, to travel back and time and get into random adventures.  Frank had been in his car pondering the time travel idea when he had passed out a dreamt of the flames. The lovely flames, he thought.  Frank hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in over 5 years before a day ago, he had turned himself around, devoted himself to being in ‘recovery,’ and had gone to AA and even considered himself ‘reformed.’







Although that was always the danger, he knew. Those were the ones they talked about in AA the ones who went back to their old ways, the ones who stopped going to meetings, stopped calling their sponsors, the ones who considered themselves ‘cured.’ He could see himself going down a dark path this time, and he doubted he would be able to pull himself out.  It figures, I work with a bunch of alcoholics it’s only a matter of time before I go back. He looked at his watch, 6:30, fuck. No time to go back to sleep, no time really, to get ready. He had to be in at the diner at 8 to open and help Jim cook. Frank got out of his car, the air was cool and felt good on his skin. He was still slightly buzzed from the night before but it seemed to him nothing that a shower couldn’t cure.  Would they notice that I was gone? It was hard to say, he hoped not. Frank was a terrible liar and eventually they would figure it out. He open the door to his car and pulled out the bottle, walking over to the garbage cans and carefully placed it behind the first one. I wonder what she would do if she found out? Probably divorce him, possibly. It was hard to say if that would be a bad thing. He’d probably get fucked over, he knew. He always seemed to get fucked over.






You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Marge thought as she walked by the dish area to get her coffee. She always came in 20 minutes to a half hour earlier to get her coffee, have a cigarette, or several.  The bus pans were piled on top of each other, and the ones in the dining area were filling up as well. What the fuck have they been doing all night? She thought as she poured her coffee.  ‘Hey Marge.’ Lynn said to marge as she poured her coffee.  All bright eyed and chipper, Marge thought, obviously this one isn’t too bright. In her estimation anyone who was that bright eyed and chipper after working a long overnight at the diner had to have a few screws loose.






Lynn was putting an order into the computer while a four person order sat in the window. She would always do this and then eventually the food waiting would get cold and have to be remade. ‘Busy?’ Marge asked, more for the sake of being cordial than anything else. Marge walked through the door to the kitchen, ‘Hey Marge,’ Ed said as she walked by and she said nothing. Fucking useless asshole, she thought as she walked outside to the shed.  She still had 20 minutes until 8 and she intended on spending every last second of them outside. She could smell the vague odor or marijuana as she stepped into the shed. Marge sat down and lit up a cigarette, that’s all they do on that 4-12 sit around, get high, eat. Officially the F.R. Rogers company had a half price rule on food, but unofficially Gary, for the most part let them have whatever they wanted for free.









Marge and 1st shift resented this because Frank always took a harder line, making them ring in what they ate. They still ate but they just had to by sneaky about it,  she would have Jim cook her a hot dog or something, and furtively take bites over at her station.  Marge knew that most likely Frank wouldn’t  chastise her for it but he would also likely make her pay for it. As  Marge saw it the company was already fucking them over with low pay, no benefits, no vacation time, the least they could do was let her eat a fucking hot dog once and a while. She took a drag of her cigarette and opened the door slightly to look outside. The sun was coming up and it looked like it was going to be a nice day, too bad I’m stuck in here.  A red truck pulled up, right next to the rear entrance. Jim and Judy marge thought, she looked at her phone, ten minutes.  Jim and Judy walked up to the shed. ‘How’s it going?’ Judy said as she entered.  Marge nodded, ‘It’s pretty bad in there.’ She said.  Judy lit up a smoke and Jim followed suit. ‘Ed’s been alone all night, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, there’s   piles of dishes, trash everywhere, looks like a fucking bomb went off in that place.’ Jim nodded, ‘Sounds like a Sunday morning.’

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