Silent tongue and clenched teeth and steady eye and well poised bayonet

One of the things I love the most about the era of the American Civil war is the various letters and statements by soldiers and politicians and even common people of the time. The language they use is so fluid and descriptive and seems to sum up the whole of the subject they are speaking on. Abraham Lincoln is one of the most famous, one of my favorite qoutations from him is his statement to those opposed to fighting against slavery. "You say you will not fight to free negros, some of them seem willing to fight for you; but, no matter. Fight you, then exclusively to save the union. When victory is won, there will be some black men who can remember that, with silent tonge, and clenched teeth, and steady eye, and well poised bayonet they have helped manking unto this great consummation; while I fear there will be some white ones, unable to forget that, with malignant heart and deceitful speech, they have strove to hinder it." It comes across as so descriptive and I love the image of the soldier fighting against all hinderences and prejudices. I've always loved qoutes in general and the period is in my opinion one of the best for it.

In addition to being a postmaster im also a general, and its the job of a general to by god get things done!

So i've been reading this massive one volume history of the civil war The battle cry of freedom by James McPherson. Its a challengeing book on many levels. Interesting but very detailed and it actually took me a few chapters to start to really get into it. But now I am in the thick of it and the pages are flying by. I think one of the things I like about it, which I also liked about the Ken Burns documentary The Civil War is the depictions of the various players and characters and their personalities. I think General Grant is one of the more interesting characters in the war. "He had discovered that this laconic, informal, commonsense manner inspired respect and obediance from his men. Unlike so many other commanders, Grant rarely clamored for reinforcments, rarely complained, rare quarreled with associates, but went ahead and did the job with the resources at hand." And also what I find interesting is that Grant had no strong reputation before the war, he had served in the Mexican war, but had been discharged from the army in 1854 for drinking. This in contrast to McCllelen who came into position of General of the Army of Potomac with plaudits and acclaim and indeed had trained and turned the Army of the Potomac into a discilplined fighting machine but when it came time to actually use the Army in battle he demurred. Fell back, constantly thinking of reasons to postpone a full scale assualt. One can almost understand how someone having built up such resplendant legions would be reluctant to hurl them into a storm of musketry, grape shot and sharpnel. In almost every battle McClellan outnumbered Lee and the confederate army signifigantly yet still he refused to go on the offensive. I can't help but wonder if the Army of the Potomac had had a slightly more bold and offensive commander if maybe the war might have ended sooner.

And if you like the wicked sound then clap man

Late at night I sometimes watch TV and I always see all these random commercials. They subjects of them vary, 'girls gone wild' is probably the most frequent of them with scantily clad young ladies strip down and do various things to each other. But also alot of get rich quick shchemes and weight loss ads. The adds for weight loss always or frequently seem to emphasize the message, 'lose weight without excercise.' And basically the entire theme of the ad was lose weight without doing anything. When has anything ever been accomplished without some kind of effort. What the fuck happened to suck it up and doing some fucking work. Put effort into it stop eating all the unhealthy shit, adjust your diet. Take the steps needed to accomplish your task. General Sherman in the civil war marched through miles of swamps in georiga with regiments ahead of him chopping down trees and making their own roads through miles of terrain. For god sake anything is possible and when you consider the spectrum of experiences the human race has been exposed to over the history of time. Slavery, opression, extermination and yet through it all somehow it had survived. Individuals have endured and even created a culture and kept hope throughout a very dark and hopeless era.
The slaves in America despite all the efforts of the slave masters and the system of slavery always had a strong understanding that what was being done to them was wrong. Despite all the efforts of a society to demote them to a lower caste in the world they still harbored hope and yearned to be free. People in America all of us have it so easy and we do not fully apperciate it. I was talking to a co-worker of mine who was talking about walking across the Sahara desert when he was nine was a group of people from his village who were fleeing from a civil war. I know for a fact that when I was nine years old that shit would have fucked me up. But it is truly a different reality. Different people experience different realities and their outlook on the world is shaped by these realities. I think the point is you should excercise, excercise is good it makes you feel good and look good. But more broadly I think there is just a general apathy among alot of people here. A sense of utter obilviousness about all around them. Although I am of course guilty of this myself but I try to recycle and I have always a sense of a broader picture. The remote control again and ingenius invention, but still it had something that has enabled us to literally sit in a chair and not have to move for long intervals of time. And then they also have chairs with refridgeratos built into them so one can eat a snack and watch tv without having to get up at all. Crazy man.

I am filled with inutterable loathing.

Sometimes I simply just do not understand human beings. Human nature. What exactly is it within some people that causes them to behave like complete jackoffs for no apparent reason. Why is it they seem to be so much interested in the affairs of others and in things that in general do no concern them in the slightest. Are they aware that they are going around every day behaving in a disgusting, abhorrent manner towards all around them? Or are they just generally oblivious to the abrasive nature of their general personality. I think most like the latter. They live in a delusional existence with their own warped sense of reality utterly divorced from the truth. I have this co-worker who is continually a pain in the ass. And I had an argument with her in which I disagreed with her. I with then told to 'go to hell and die'. And that I was an asshole. I did little to merit this response but I responded in kind 'no one here likes you.' Or something to that effect. Now given the abuse I had taken I could have actually responded with much harsher words than that but I held my tongue. But still it was nessacary to respond in some way instead of just roll over and be treated like an asshole. There was one point in my life where I would have done just that but that shit is over and I will no longer deal with that shit.

Now the night will through its cover down

Its always strange to see someone your used to seeing in a certain setting or backround in a different context or enviroment. Especially if you've only seen them in that one said enviroment. I experienced that a little while ago when I was working as a temp for Aerotek at the Yankee candle company. This fellow I used to obtain some herb from was working there on second shift while I was on thrid. WEird shit seeing that dude. It also happened recently when I was at the Y with this kid who worked at Shaws. ALthough that particular instance made slightly more sense. I think it just changes your percption of them.