After midnight, we gonna let it all hang down.

'That sucked.' Those were my words or something of that nature after my first day of Kindergarten according to my Mom. Not that I don't remember an experience that would merit such a response. And that feeling pretty much sums up my experience in later years in school. I was always singled out for being 'different.' I was put in special ed programs for years taught by people that were well intentioned but it was obvious that funds were lacking. And I never felt like I learned anything. Beyond basic aspects of interacting with people of my own age group. But in terms of learning and gaining new knowledge it was few and far between. And I've always had something of a complex because of it. I see some people my sister for example who seem to be able to do the academic thing so well and excel at it. But I just don't feel it. I feel like school totally takes everything that is fun and good about reading and learning new things and makes it horrible. As I have grown older whenever I meet an older person they always ask me 'are you in school?' and I never know what to say. You say 'no.' I suppose they think you are some kind of a slacker. Sometimes I feel like saying 'You know what? I've had ten plus years of school and I did not enjoy it.' Maybe i'm insane, full of shit, its hard to say. But I never liked it. I remember in third grade I had this one special ed teacher who was well intentioned but had the worst breath. Like liver and onions type of deal. And she would always get really close to you when she talked which just exascerbated the problem. But I just never fit in never felt like part of the crowd.