We are rock'n roll animals.

I'm reading this massive book about the mafia right now and what I find fascinating is the many complex scams and rackets operated by the mafia. Dummy companies, offshore bank accounts, entire lives lived in deceit and subterfuge. Most people during the course of their lives leave a long and extensive paper trail. Not mobsters. They exist as virtual phantoms with everything they own in their mother or a realtives name so that the only record of their existence is their birth certificate and arrest records. The crimes catalouged in the book by mafiosi range from simple bookmaking and extortion to kickbacks from unions and construction companies. It is interesting because as I was reading it I began to think of the whole underground economy the vast world hidden from the general populace hiding in the shadow.

I might even be a rockstar

Back in the day, wayy back in the day going out to the arcade was an adventure. It was an experience that rivaled christmas, halloween, and any other childhood outing in terms of sheer exuberance and hilarity. Me and my friend Robin would get dropped off at the mall get about 20 dollars and we would get quarters from it and play until the whole thing ran out. Usually Mortal Kombat or the X-men game. I remember the X-mean the most vividly, we passed through level after level defeating various henchmen and bosses and continuing to replenish and reup and keep playing after numerous defeats. It all seemed so magical at the time, so inspiring as we both came from small towns in the country, and I personally was never allowed acess to any kind of video game system. For those few hours it felt as if we were gods of the arcade, we owned and kicked some ass. Good times.

We went through all this fuckin trouble and somebodies skimming us?

La cosa nostra also known as the Mafia was once a very powerful force in America. I'm reading this book right now called The five familes by Selwyn Raab chronicling the history of the American Mafia in America. It spans the history of the American Mafia from its origins in Sicily in the middle ages to the present day. It began in Sicily arising in part from a seris of invasions and ouccupations by various foreign powers throughout the years. As a result of this there developed a culture of mistrust for authority which continued throughout the years. At first these bands were developed as a means of resistance against a forgeign power but as the time wore on developed into a criminal enterprise extracting protection money from landowners. As the flood of immigrants from Southern Italy and Sicily into American increased during the late nineteenth century and early Twenteenth centuries so did some who imported these same traditions. During prohibition these Italian gangs developed more and more power and ended up surviving afterwards because they were more brutal and vicious then their Irish and Jewish counterparts. After prohibtion the Italian gangs ended up assassinating or otherwise persuadeing the remaining ethnics gangs in New york to surrender thus enabling them free reign over their respective rackets. As the years progressed and their power increased they also gained control over policiticians and labor unions. They also had interests in Cuba and had substantial interests there. It amazing to me reading about it the extent of their influence and power. That a small group of peasant immigrants could form such a powerful criminal empire it indeed noteworthy no matter what your position on the merits of it.

And they use us til they refuse us

Jefferson Davis the first and only president of the confederate states of America is a fascinating character in the rich tapestry of American history. Defiant to the end about the righteousness of the confederate cause, he issued this statement after the fall of Richmond: "Relieved from the necessity of guarding cities and particular points, important but not vital to our defence with our army free to move from point to point, and strike in detail detachments and garrison of the enemy; operating in the interior of our own country,where supplies are more accessiable, and where the foe will be far removed from his base and cut off from all succor in case of reverse, nothing is now needed to render our triumph certain, but the exhibition or our own unquenchable resolve. Let us but will it and we are free." This was after Shermans army had marched through Georgia and South carolina burning and destorying everything in sight. Also aftet the confederacy had also suffered massive inflation from printing currency without any backing and from the Union blockade of confederate ports. You have to admire his determination and resolve I suppose. After the civil war Jefferson Davis and others led to a literary movement known as the 'lost cause' which exulted in the merits of the Confederate cause and the north crimes against her people and soil. In some ways one can imagine and indeed in some ways understand the factors underlying this seniment. A large portion of the cities and villages of the south were completly destroyed and devastated as a result of the war. In the end the strategy of total war was deemed to be the only means nessacary to end the conflict. When I see pictures of the cities of South destroyed by the war it reminds me of pictures of Europe after world war 2 vast expenses of destroyed, blown up buildings, a vista of ruin and devastation. And the sense of defeat really resonated with the Southern people so I think it is part of the reason why they still remember the Civil war so acutely. If New York or Boston or Washtington were reduced to burning piles of rubble and the countryside of New England was burned and raped and pillaged for all that is was worth, I imagine we Yankees would feel a similiar sentiment.

Love lifts us up where we belong

I want to enfilade a large portion of ifantry with fullsides of artillery filled with canister, grapeshot, and sharpnel. I was watching the news and they mentioned something about the cold and 'hoping you have a warm cup of coffe in your hands.' I coulden't help but be somewhat amused as I had indeed a cold glass of beer in my hands at that very moment. Sometimes I wonder why things that I think should be realtively simply seem to remain instead far more complicated then is truly necessacry. What the fuck? Sometimes I wish the ambiguity of life would make itself more clear so early yet I know once I pass out it will be so late.

There is a rancor in our hearts which you can little know

Despair, disgruntled, demoralized, dispirited. It seems as if all words describing some form of sadness or discontent come in ds. It all seems like a vast chasm of nothingness, of something out of sync or not right. A path trodden with little direction wandering aimlessly finding nothing. I just don't know what the fuck to do. About anything. I feel like Simon Pegg's character in 'Shaun of the dead' in a state of despair feeling with worlds about to end as the world itself turns into a zombie apocolypse. I need a shaman, and elder, somehow with wisdom. Something. Just can't seem to figure out what. A peice of the puzzle is missing.